Stories like this should roll a tear of joy, it did to me. Happiness is when there is no conflict and I am so happy to read this story. I pray the negative trends in India against interfaith marriages come to an end, and let people marry whomever they want without harassment of any kind.
If ten people are working in an office from ten different faiths, and each one goes to the bathroom and spends five minutes and return, does anyone ever ask what they did or how they did? Don't they mind their own business? Likewise, if each one of them goes to a little quiet space and prays in their own way, should that matter? If a husband his Namaz and wife do her Lakshmi Puja, why should it matter to anyone?
We have to grow up and be free, let each religion be a good choice and let everyone practice his or her religion with joy.
Mike Ghouse
Indian Hindu Man Adopts Destitute Muslim Girl, Raises Her As A Devout Muslim And Marries Her Off The Islamic Way
Yesterday (8th January 2018) was a day of mixed feelings for Madanan, a Hindu man in Kalariparambu village, Thrissur, in India’s southern state of Kerala. His eyes welled up as he bid goodbye to his adopted daughter Khadeeja, who got married to a young man Akbar. Even though Madanan knew that he and his wife would miss Khadeeja’s presence in their house, the satisfaction he enjoyed as a father on his daughter’s wedding day, was much greater.
A devout Hindu, Madanan adopted Khadeeja when she was 13-years-old. Impoverished and with no one to look after her, Khadeeja’s sorry state was brought to Madanan’s attention by a friend of his. Madanan and his wife Thankamany didn’t have to think twice about adopting Khadeeja into their family. The couple had two sons and had always longed for a daughter, and Khadeeja soon became their dear daughter and their sons’ little sister.
Madanan and Thankamany raised Khadeeja like their own daughter, taking care of all her needs and showering her with parental love. At the same time, they ensured that Khadeeja grew up as a devout Muslim. They did all they could, for Khadeeja. They had a special area in the house for Khadeeja to perform the five obligatory prayers every day. Thankamany cooked her favorite dishes for her during Ramadan, for Suhoor (pre-dawn meal) and Iftaar (breaking the fast). Every evening during Ramadan, Madanan would buy Khadeeja her favorite snacks.
When Khadeeja reached marriageable age, Madanan took up the responsibility like a true father. Not only did he find Khadeeja a perfect match, but he also bore the entire expenses of the marriage. He sought the local mosque’s help to conduct the marriage according to the laws of Islam. Madanan was also present at the nikkah ceremony, as the Imam of the local Masjid performed the formalities in the presence of the office-bearers of the Masjid-committee. Relatives of Madanan, as well as Khadeeja’s Muslim relatives, attended the marriage.
Formerly an expatriate worker, Madanan is now settled in his hometown and pursues agriculture as a full-time occupation. Both his sons work in the Middle East; in Oman and UAE. Madanan and Thankamany are preparing to visit Khadeeja’s new home formally, according to a local tradition where the bride’s family and relatives officially visit their daughter’s new home to inquire about her well-being.
Madanan and Thankamany have resolved to continue taking care of Khadeeja always. “Her marriage doesn’t change anything. She will always be our dear daughter,” the couple said.
Many of us have been shocked with the discovery that our kids and us are too far apart, even though we may pretend it otherwise. I have seen too many parents cry it out loud, “I did not know this was going to happen.”
One of my friends sent his kid to the best of schools in Dallas and always talked about the money he was spending on him - as if the son was a stock market. He ran away and never wanted to see the parents again. I feel the pain of the father, but I also feel the misery his son is enduring. There was no connection between the kids and his parents – everything was money to them.
A few years ago, one of the kids was shot in an accidental fire between rival gangs, the parents were on TV, and it was embarrassing to watch them talk– they were talking about money again! They have done everything for him and listing the monies they have spent on his BMW, Rolex Watches, Armani Suits… and he does this! Man it looks like their stock market crashed and not their son.
If we are connected well, not perfectly, but relatively well. Meaning we cease to become parents in the sense of advisers – but become good friends in terms of listening to them, then they will share all about them, if we can hold ourselves and listen to them without interrupting. Imagine this; you are excited or hurt about something, and you want your spouse, friend or kids or any human with two years to listen to you, instead if you get advice and interruption, you disconnect with them.
All it takes is UN-interrupted listening. My life is not perfect either, but my kids talk with me comfortably. My daughter tests me with shocking revelations, it puts my patience on test, but listening to her is part of the affection and caring. She knows it was difficult and when she sees that I value what she had to say and patiently listen, she would realize that and acknowledge it, then I would say, yes, it was difficult and was very tempting to interrupt, but listening to you was far more important than interrupting you. This bonds us.
True friendship with your kids is when you listen to them so intently that they will share everything, it gives them relief, removes the barriers and a strong bond of trust is created. Then neither of you will lose the other.
It’s not too late for any one. You can always begin afresh! Be a cheer leaders to your kidswhen they turn 18.
HERE IS AN ESSAY FROM A CHILD
A teacher from Primary School asks her students to write an essay about
What they would like God to do for them...
At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional. Her husband, that had just walked in saw her crying and askedher - What happened?
She answered -Read this. It's one of my student’s essays.
Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house. Have myown special place, and have my family around ME. To be taken seriously when I talk.... I want to be the center of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same
Special care that the TV receives when it is not working. Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired.
And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me... And... I want my brothers to fight to be with me... I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me. And last but not least make it thatI can make them all happy and entertain them...
Lord I don't ask you for much... I just want to live like every TV
....... Mike Ghouse is aspeaker, thinker and awriteronpluralism,politics, peace,Islam,Israel,India,interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building aCohesive Americaand offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day atwww.TheGhousediary.com. He believes inStanding up for othersand has done that throughout his life as an activist. Mike has a presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest onSean Hannity showon Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column atDallas Morning News; fortnightly atHuffington post;and several other periodicals across the world. His personal sitewww.MikeGhouse.netindexes all his work through many links.
